Uncorked

Put a cork in it. It would be a real kindness if someone would come along and put Uncorked, “the unpretentious wine bar” out of its misery. I think despondent would be a better word for it these days rather than unpretentious. It opened in the heyday of rising real estate values and hasn’t changed a bit since. The prices are still high and the furnishings - untouched - are hitting a new low. But what has really bottomed out is the kitchen.

Four of us arrived for lunch at 12:30. The place was empty, and stayed so except for one other party of two. When we sat down, Ralph started to disappear under the table. The banquette had become unsprung. The laminate tabletop was peeling off in chunks. There was a sign on our table advertising summer specials. I’m wondering now why we stayed.

Ken and Ralph ordered the soup of the day ($ 5), which our waitress said was chicken and corn chowder. I asked for a pulled pork sandwich ($10) and mac & cheese($9), which I was going to share with Ken. Ralph also wanted the pulled pork, and Sandy ordered a chicken salad sandwich ($9). The sandwiches are served with a side of 5 grapes?!?!. A bag of chips cost an extra dollar. A side salad is an additional $2.50.

Sandy asked for a salad with a sesame dressing. The dressing that was served was an unidentifiable oil mixed with a touch of sesame oil - no vinegar or seasoning. It was awful. When she asked to exchange it for honey vinaigrette, she was served something orange flavored instead. The chowder contained no milk or cream. The bread on

Sandy’s sandwich was inedibly stale. But the biggest gaffe of all was the pulled pork. Both sandwiches arrived at the table stone cold. Like just out of the refrigerator cold. The person in the kitchen, I wouldn’t call him chef, couldn’t even bring himself to put them in the microwave (which is a sin anyway). Ken, who is a bit of a conspiracy theorist, thinks that the kitchen staff is trying to sabotage the operation. Could be, except for letting a good mac & cheese slip out of the kitchen undetected, they’re certainly succeeding.  View Less … View More